


The Adventures of Han'Gerrel and his Geth Hopper Boyfran.

by Frigid



Series: Crack OTP [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Crack, Other, alive!rael, has this been done yet or, total crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 15:16:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1715216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frigid/pseuds/Frigid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Total stupidity involving your favourite Quarian Admirals and a geth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Han sighed as the geth’s fingers ran across his bare shoulders. The unusual texture, so unlike that of a quarian, sent shivers running down his spine. His hopper presses its, no – _his_ hands flush against Han’s skin. The hopper’s hands trace a path down Han’s chest, pausing slightly to run around his nipples. Han moans, raising his own hands to the geth’s shoulders. Moving slightly, he adjusts himself so he is now straddling the geth.

Han sometimes can’t believe he’s doing this. He had always considered himself and Rael to be the least likely out of the admirals to… end up _with_ a geth. Zaal and Daro wouldn’t have surprised him, although he didn’t really want to think about what Daro would be doing with geth when in bed. Frankly, she terrified him.

No matter, though, because Han can’t deny how good it feels when the geth’s strange hands trace out the patterns on his skin, or how it feels when the geth pulls his legs wide apart, and presses its fingers inside him-

He tips his head forward against the geth’s shoulder and whines quietly. It’s an encouragement. A plea for his geth to stop teasing and make him scream. His geth doesn’t respond though. It merely tips its head to the side, watching him.  The raise and fall of its head plates do not display an expression Han can name.

Reaching up, he runs his fingers along the edge of a plate, before leaning forward and following the same path with his tongue.

It garners a reaction. A quiet electronic whirr. He can feel the vibrations in his hands. More importantly, it gives Han what he wants. The geth’s hands start moving down again, tracing the shape of the muscles on Han’s chest. It stops when its hands reach the waist of his pants. They are tented, and Han can’t help but think that if someone were to walk in on them now- _keelah!_

The pressure on his dick shifts back and forth as his geth rubs. Another whine escapes him, and once again he tips his head to meet the geth’s shoulder. His geth’s hand is circling now, as the other starts to pull down his pants. The pace of his breathing increases and he moans louder now, his hips jerking forward to press against the geth’s hands. Finally, Han’s pants are off and the geth’s hands close around his cock, and he yelps, he can never get used to the strange texture of a geth hopper’s hands. He waits for his geth to move, to stroke and make him scream but it doesn’t happen.

Opening his eyes, Han stares directly into the geth’s optic. It stares back impassively. _Please_. The word is unspoken, but it’s clear on the expression of Han’s face and the tightness with which he’s holding the geth’s shoulders.

The geth gives no response, but Han can tell what he’s supposed to do.

He presses forward, moaning as he watches his cock disappear into the cage of the geth’s hands. They tighten slightly as he pulls back, and he has to resist the urge to immediately thrust back in. His whines are louder now, but he doesn’t care because no one can hear him. No one can hear the proud quarian admiral moan as a geth runs its hands over his cock.

Biting his lip, he almost doesn’t notice the door slam open.

“ _Han, I-_ “

He freezes. Opening his eyes, he makes direct eye contact with Rael. Han can’t help a look of sheer _oh, shit!_ spread across his face. The look of pure surprise, and also increased anger on Rael’s face only serves to increase Han’s feeling of terror.

“I - _uh,_ Rael, I can explain”


	2. Rael

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rael's perspective

Rael turned and almost ran out the house, attempting keep whatever was left of his dignity. The idea that Tali,  _his daughter_ , was.. in a relationship.. with a geth was inconceivable.

It was not right. Han would understand. Even after the end of the Reaper War, Han was still his closest friend. Although, unlike Rael, Han did have a geth permanently living in his house.

He’d just have to hope that said geth wasn’t there, at least for today. Rael knew of Han’s love of alcohol ( _"I’m not alcoholic!"_ ), and therefore he was relying on Han to have a lot of it.

Quietly opening the door to Han’s house, he carefully checks the bottom floor, where the geth hopper is normally to found. There’s no sign of it. Breathing a sigh of relief, Rael takes the stairs two at a time, almost flattening the door to Han’s office room.

"Han, I jus-" Rael stops dead in his tracks. The look of sheer terror on Han’s face confirms that he is definitely not dreaming.

That is definitely his best friend, naked and straddling a geth.

 

Rael stared at Han. Han stared at Rael. The geth switched between staring at both of them.

It’s only when the geth looks down and moves its hands that Rael realises that Han hadn’t just been naked.

He’d been.. He’d..

Rael didn’t really want to think about it. The idea of his daughter being touched by synthetic beings was bad enough, but adding his best friend was asking too much. As his brain followed this thought process, he fully realised what Han was doing. He couldn’t believe that Han, of all people, had chosen to do more than accept the geth as equals. It was unacceptable. It was appalling. They’d barely been on the homeworld for a year, and Han thought he could already do this?

Rael considered his options. He could beat a swift retreat, and hold on to whatever was left of his dignity. He could stay and… try and get some sense out of Han.

He decides the second option is better.

“Han, how could you ever think this was a good idea?” Rael’s words are low, laced with anger. Han finally looks away from him then. His grey skin is darkening slightly as he stares at the floor in embarrassment. Rael insists on making eye contact as much as possible. Han’s still naked, and Rael’s not ready to look down and acknowledge that his friend really was _– oops. Too late._ He quickly drags his eyes back up to Han’s.

Han still hasn’t said anything. He swallows audibly, shifting slightly.

“I… uh. I don’t know?” Han’s voice is hesitant, quiet. Almost immediately, he winces, obviously regretting his words. A wise feeling, given how they increase Rael’s anger. Rael tries to speak, to articulate his feelings, but he cannot find the words. Clenching his jaw, he gives up, turning and leaving before he can change his mind. He’d only end up making things worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rael's perspective and little after.

**Author's Note:**

> Crack pairings for life.


End file.
